Amazing Grace

I am consumed tonight by demons of worry, anger, grief, sadness, and guilt. I cry out to God and I feel as if He does not hear me, though I know He does. There are so many issues and people. How did I get here. I am trying to be strong but fear I am losing this battle.  I just want it to all stop. I feel the need to do something drastic to make it stop, and if I do there will be consequences for that too. See there are consequences to every single decision we have made and will make as human beings. Whether it is a good or bad consequence. There is guilt from my past, anger from my present, sadness in both. I see more grief and worry in my future. My heart tells me to continue to cry out to God, but my mind detains me. Are the people of this world so lost that they enjoy the infliction of pain on others or do they just not care? What if I am not strong enough to endure? What if God gives up on me? What if I am in the eye of my storm? Will the storm weaken and I grow stronger or will the storm consume me and leave me empty and alone? I often envision death as it looks comfortingly at me.  “Amazing Grace” is the only song lyrics or thought that takes me away from this whirlwind called life.

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1 Comment

  1. William said,

    June 9, 2011 at 9:41 am

    You are never alone! We were not Created to be an island! It sounds like you need some Christian Fellowship. You are not alone in those feelings. Invitation—->Mt 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
    29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
    30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Love and Prayers!


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